Copyright Ronald Brown, CPA of Springfield & London, Ohio. All rights reserved.
Serving Madison County, Clark County, Champaign County, Union County
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: The accountant knows he is boring.
Q: Why is a tax return called a form 1040?
A: Because for every $50 you earn, you get 10, they get 40.
The Accountant and the Frog
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your girlfriend for an entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll marry you, cook your meals, and do your laundry." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll marry you, I'll cook your meals and even do your laundry. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm an accountant. I don't have time for a wife, but a talking frog is cool!
The Lemon Squeezer
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The man replied "I work for the IRS."
Something to Laugh About...
Certified Public Accountant